Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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