fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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