marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
