Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
In America we eat man semen.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
