Texts From Last Night

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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef

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  (307): burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef http://tfl.nu/mi4v
  Replies (33) Good night (7020) Bad night (958)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.

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  (847): He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours. http://tfl.nu/vgfj
  Replies (119) Good night (41026) Bad night (2085)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...

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  (248): I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high... http://tfl.nu/j3oh
  Replies (55) Good night (5917) Bad night (1571)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better

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  (902): Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better http://tfl.nu/2vo6
  Replies (4) Good night (935) Bad night (3861)
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?

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  (205): She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more? http://tfl.nu/6zzu
  Replies (6) Good night (3271) Bad night (887)
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.

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  (647): So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie. http://tfl.nu/dsah
  Replies (7) Good night (3242) Bad night (976)
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.

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  (+61): Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup. http://tfl.nu/3fht
  Replies (9) Good night (3484) Bad night (1118)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable

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  (612): Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable http://tfl.nu/0g8x
  Replies (3) Good night (1830) Bad night (800)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."

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  (248): So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis." http://tfl.nu/nekp
  Replies (5) Good night (2806) Bad night (945)
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  (408): View more from California

  Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.

  (831): View more from California

  You did a keg stand on the toilet?!

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  (408): Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying. (831): You did a keg stand on the toilet?! http://tfl.nu/1e43
  Replies (6) Good night (843) Bad night (1425)
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  (941): View more from Florida

  I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.

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  (941): I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out. http://tfl.nu/omsw
  Replies (7) Good night (1355) Bad night (966)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.

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  (512): i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem. http://tfl.nu/a4iw
  Replies (11) Good night (930) Bad night (1899)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."

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  (850): Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening." http://tfl.nu/4kvm
  Replies (5) Good night (611) Bad night (968)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front

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  (440): New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front http://tfl.nu/k7td
  Replies (2) Good night (542) Bad night (369)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.

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  (757): I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun. http://tfl.nu/8rfr
  Replies (7) Good night (1209) Bad night (427)

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