I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
These 27 C*ck Blocks Are Savage AF
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.