Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Help. Why am I so naked?
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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