I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Randomize