Texts From Last Night

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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers

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  (920): Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers http://tfl.nu/3qjt
  Replies (22) Good night (962) Bad night (563)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.

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  (917): Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist. http://tfl.nu/5y9j
  Replies (0) Good night (659) Bad night (1924)
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  (312): View more from Illinois

  Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.

  (773): View more from Illinois

  ...well that sucks.

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  (312): Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck. (773): ...well that sucks. http://tfl.nu/p9wr
  Replies (37) Good night (699) Bad night (4132)
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  (914): View more from New York

  you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds

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  (914): you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds http://tfl.nu/u8pq
  Replies (36) Good night (6333) Bad night (1017)
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  (435): View more from Utah

  I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.

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  (435): I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated. http://tfl.nu/6ris
  Replies (15) Good night (6150) Bad night (774)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  fair is fair

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  (610): we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it (484): fair is fair http://tfl.nu/tm5x
  Replies (21) Good night (6125) Bad night (1095)
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.

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  (416): After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me. http://tfl.nu/uotn
  Replies (13) Good night (1104) Bad night (4472)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas

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  (815): Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas http://tfl.nu/uer1
  Replies (2) Good night (2694) Bad night (767)
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  (731): View more from Tennessee

  He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties

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  (731): He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties http://tfl.nu/51c2
  Replies (5) Good night (2976) Bad night (683)
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  (650): View more from California

  lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses

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  (650): lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses http://tfl.nu/4rg9
  Replies (12) Good night (1233) Bad night (715)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.

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  (917): Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep. http://tfl.nu/ccvs
  Replies (5) Good night (1373) Bad night (549)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.

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  (814): This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off. http://tfl.nu/kq64
  Replies (11) Good night (602) Bad night (1023)
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.

  (1-309): View more from Illinois

  I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.

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  (309): Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment. (1-309): I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college. http://tfl.nu/zbsh
  Replies (7) Good night (1202) Bad night (546)
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  (417): View more from Missouri

  I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.

  (309): View more from Illinois

  You rock my world.

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  (417): I just smoked weed out of a baked potato. (309): You rock my world. http://tfl.nu/p2ud
  Replies (4) Good night (931) Bad night (437)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"

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  (919): you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches" http://tfl.nu/j1kh
  Replies (2) Good night (871) Bad night (387)

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