It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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