Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
