i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
