I want to walk on stilts...naked
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
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