Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Randomize