You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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