Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Randomize