she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
