think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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