sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
