just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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