Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
