Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
