Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
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