Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
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