Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
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