I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
You're so nebulous sometimes
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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