Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Randomize
