We named our party play list daddy issues
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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