We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Say something about gay babies.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
