What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
