Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
