if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
