Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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