ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
She tied me up with her honor cords...
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Randomize