Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
