It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
