I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
