im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
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