Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize