apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
FUCK WHALES
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
