it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Randomize
