If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
lets start a swedish sibling band together
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
