Is it normal to miss your booty call?
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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