you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
