Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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