Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize