So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Randomize
