my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
