He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
