So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
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