he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize