ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
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