What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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