I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
