it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
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