Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
