No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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