i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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