Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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