I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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