I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
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