i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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