You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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