you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
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