so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Randomize
