remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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