I just gift wrapped bread.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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