Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
